Feb. 10 2011
I owe my life to Dr. Carlton. If I had not found her I would not be here today. She has helped me mentally, physically and emotionally. My story is about finding peace with food and living day by day. It is about loving me enough to give myself the gift of health and happiness. You can find freedom from the emotional ties that food holds over us.
Society has always had certain stereotypes and pressures. When I was a kid I watched people in my family always dieting to be thin. When I was in my teens my friends and I always wanted to look like models, and when I was in my twenties I had a boyfriend that preferred me to be thin. I began my spiral with food in order to get thin. I started by starving myself then moved onto binging and purging. I became obsessed with wanting to look a certain way. The fight only got worse. I started using laxatives then many laxatives daily. I knew I could not live this way. Every time I ate over 300 calories in a day the conveyor belt would start. That would be a day I would write off as a binge, purge, laxative day. I was so incredibly sensitive to having a little bit of food in my stomach that I felt bloated. Really it was the tormenting I was doing to the inside of my body.
When I was thirty one I married a man that loved me for my heart and who I really am. My binging slowed down as I tried taking care of myself because we wanted children. I thought I could conquer this eating disorder all by myself. At thirty three I got pregnant. Knowing I had a baby to nurture I ate well. I loved my body because I loved my baby. After my baby was born I began the spiral again until I got pregnant with my second child. Again I ate well because I loved my baby. After she was born I really spiraled out of control with trying to lose weight. After a few more years of destroying my body I was beginning to have heart problems and other health issues. I was then diagnosed with osteoporosis because of malnutrition to my bones. I realized my little girls were beginning to watch and wonder why mommy does not eat as well as I fed them.
My mind was opened to a horrible thought. I would not want my girls to do all these harsh things to their bodies. To feel that they needed to look a certain way. I want my girls to love themselves for who they are. I would do anything for my girls and this is when I realized I needed to get help.
It has been a long journey. I was in such an unhealthy state. Doctor Carlton is the most amazing caring person I have ever met. I am learning that I can have peace with food. It is actually possible to eat 2500-3000 calories a day, have a healthy exercise plan and maintain a healthy body weight. I now have a freedom that I have not had since I was a kid. Dr. Carlton can help anyone at any stage. I want for everyone to know it is possible, you can do it. Keep the faith, find your courage and love yourself.
Peace to you,
Thank you Pam, from the bottom of my heart, for helping me save my life! Pam Carlton is truly an amazing woman. I had the privilege to work with Pam for months when I was hospitalized twice at Stanford. I struggled with severe anorexia which took me to the point of death and in many ways it is a miracle I am here.
I remember severe depression, being shattered into a million pieces at the age of 18. I know of sitting curled up in corners unable to speak, of flashbacks, of unbearable pain, of panic attacks, of being unable to step out of my room, of having to be covered in baggy clothes and hoodies, of heart monitors being attached to me 24/7, of being woken up in the middle of the night for EKGs. I know of struggles, thoughts of suicide and a couple attempts…. The path from there to being able to truly see the beauty of this world surrounding me. I learned that the only person who I needed to love and be friends with again was ME. Food is just a metaphor for emotional nourishment.
In my ED recovery I’ve had to create compassion for myself and behaviors, develop a nonjudgmental observer, become conscious of behaviors, create awareness of emotions, create awareness of body signals: hunger, fullness, satisfaction, identify physical, emotional and spiritual needs. I know that THIS is my healing and that full recovery from an ED is possible thanks to Pam.
I was deep in Anorexia when I first met Pam. I felt she truly cared about me and deeply listened to me. I haven’t been back at Stanford, any hospital, or inpatient facility for over 6 years now. Pam was the one that recommended the Center For Change in Orem Utah, which I went to for a year of treatment…. I went to several facilities before, but this one helped me the greatest. I haven’t needed another facility for my eating disorder since.
I relate greatly to this comment as it is well said! I too, am so very thankful to Dr. C, and her individual approach to each and every patient she encounters with compassion, love, a real listening ear, and the very first doctor that I trust fully! I came from a place deep in my eating disorder. Dr C would not engage with it, but rather engage with ME. She would work with me at my pace, and spend countless hours helping my family and I remain calm during insecure times of ER visits and hospitalisations.
I am not fully “Recovered.” however I am symptom free and well along my way towards full recovery. I know full recovery IS possible and having Dr. C by my side has been one of the reasons why I have gotten as far and healthy as I have!
My sincere gratitude!
My daughter has been seeing Dr. Carlton for about 6 months. Before going to see her I had no idea what to do to help my daughter. At the first appointment Dr. Carlton explained the process, laid out a plan and helped us start to put together a treatment team. This has been the most difficult experience I have ever had. Having Dr. Carlton there guiding and encouraging me has made me believe that I can do this and my daughter will be OK.
I canot say enough good things about Dr. Carlton.
My son has been seeing Dr. Carlton for almost a year for his eating disorder, and, I can honestly say, I believe she has changed his life.
He was very under weight, depressed, and pretty non-functional when we first went to see Dr. Carlton. His eating issues stem from anxiety and are not body image related. Dr. Carlton saw him for who he is and dealt with him according to his problems, which were, from the reading I’ve done, different from many of the young people (mostly girls/women) with the disorder.
She took time not only to do the physical exams, blood work, etc., but, to understand who he is, counsel him and to let him know what was expected of him and what his options were. She has always treated him with respect and let him know she believed in him, but, would do what was necessary to get and keep him healthy. She set goals for him and followed through on everything she said she would do. This built his confidence.
She also put together a wonderful support team for him, and got my husband and me involved in his care–this was crucial for us and for our son’s sense of support.
My son has been maintaining a healthy weight for several months now, and, for the first time in many years is having a positive and productive life.
When I think of him a few months ago, he is like a different person. He has his spirit back. Thanks to Dr. Carlton and the other support staff, he has his life back.
I hope other families of young men and women will find Dr. Carlton and get the help we have been so fortunate to get.